• SUPPORT
    • Online Support
      • Wellbeing Support
    • Counselling
      • Domestic Abuse Counselling
    • Antidote: Drugs & Alcohol Support
      • Antidote Home Care
      • Antidote Drop Ins
      • The Antidote Social
      • Axis – Satellite Clinic
      • 1-1 Keyworking
      • Real Chemistry
        • Real Chemistry Sunday Sessions
        • Real Chemistry Online Workshops
        • Real Chemistry For Professionals
      • Chemcheck
      • Friends & Family Chemsex
      • Drugs
        • Alcohol
        • Crystal Meth
        • G (GHB/GBL)
        • Steroids
        • Mephedrone
        • Cannabis
        • Cocaine
        • Ketamine
        • Other Drugs
        • Safer Injecting Practices
    • Social Support Groups
      • London Friend Groups
      • External Groups
      • Calendar
    • Sexual Health
      • SASH
      • Rise
      • Code
      • Axis
      • CliniQ
      • Self Help
    • Refugees & Asylum Seekers
    • Helplines
  • Info & Advice
    • Mental Health
    • Coming Out
    • Hate Crime Support
    • Chemsex
      • Chemsex and the Coronavirus Lockdown
      • What is Chemsex
      • Chemsex Support
      • Before and During Chemsex Sessions
      • Chemsex and Mental Health
      • Chemsex and Consent
      • Chemsex and Sexual Health
    • Drugs
      • Alcohol
      • Crystal Meth
      • G (GHB/GBL)
      • Steroids
      • Mephedrone
      • Cannabis
      • Cocaine
      • Ketamine
      • Other Drugs
      • Safer Injecting Practices
    • Apps & Safety
    • For Women
    • Friends & Family General
    • Friends & Family Chemsex
    • LGBTQ+ Resources London
  • VOLUNTEERING
    • Volunteer
    • Volunteer Counsellor
    • Volunteer Supervisors
    • Trustee
Menu
  • SUPPORT
    • Online Support
      • Wellbeing Support
    • Counselling
      • Domestic Abuse Counselling
    • Antidote: Drugs & Alcohol Support
      • Antidote Home Care
      • Antidote Drop Ins
      • The Antidote Social
      • Axis – Satellite Clinic
      • 1-1 Keyworking
      • Real Chemistry
        • Real Chemistry Sunday Sessions
        • Real Chemistry Online Workshops
        • Real Chemistry For Professionals
      • Chemcheck
      • Friends & Family Chemsex
      • Drugs
        • Alcohol
        • Crystal Meth
        • G (GHB/GBL)
        • Steroids
        • Mephedrone
        • Cannabis
        • Cocaine
        • Ketamine
        • Other Drugs
        • Safer Injecting Practices
    • Social Support Groups
      • London Friend Groups
      • External Groups
      • Calendar
    • Sexual Health
      • SASH
      • Rise
      • Code
      • Axis
      • CliniQ
      • Self Help
    • Refugees & Asylum Seekers
    • Helplines
  • Info & Advice
    • Mental Health
    • Coming Out
    • Hate Crime Support
    • Chemsex
      • Chemsex and the Coronavirus Lockdown
      • What is Chemsex
      • Chemsex Support
      • Before and During Chemsex Sessions
      • Chemsex and Mental Health
      • Chemsex and Consent
      • Chemsex and Sexual Health
    • Drugs
      • Alcohol
      • Crystal Meth
      • G (GHB/GBL)
      • Steroids
      • Mephedrone
      • Cannabis
      • Cocaine
      • Ketamine
      • Other Drugs
      • Safer Injecting Practices
    • Apps & Safety
    • For Women
    • Friends & Family General
    • Friends & Family Chemsex
    • LGBTQ+ Resources London
  • VOLUNTEERING
    • Volunteer
    • Volunteer Counsellor
    • Volunteer Supervisors
    • Trustee
  • WE’RE 50!
    • 50 years of LGBTQ+ support
    • 50 LGBTQ+ Londoners
      • Dugan Cummings
      • Laura Willoughby MBE
      • Meg-John Barker
      • Dan Vo
      • Matthew Hodson
      • Kate Martin
      • Richard Desmond
      • Revd Jide Macaulay
      • Jane Chance Czyzselska
      • Lord Michael Cashman CBE
      • Michelle Ross
      • Professor Kevin Fenton
      • Aisha Mirza
      • Angela Gibson
      • Lisa Power
      • DJ Ritu
      • Mzz Kimberley
      • Marc Thompson
      • Aloysius Ssali
      • Rita Mcloughlin
      • Michael Blyth
      • Carla Ecola
      • John Yates-Harold
      • Mark Healey
      • Laks Mann
      • Daniele Lul
      • Julie Walkling
      • Toni Hogg
      • Bob Green OBE
      • Faizan
      • Matt Mahmood-Ogston
      • Steven Malies
      • Chloe Davies
      • Ian Green
    • 50th Birthday Events
      • Queers without Beers celebrates 50 years of London Friend
      • Meet The Community: London Friend
    • Submit Your Story
  • DONATIONS
    • Donate Now
    • Fundraising
    • Facebook
  • PROFESSIONALS
    • Training
      • Improving LGBT Competence
      • Developing Trans Competence
      • Working with Chemsex
      • Developing an LGBT Support Strategy
      • Healthy LGBT Lives
      • Our Trainers
    • Healthcare Professionals
    • Partnerships
    • LGBT Resources
  • ABOUT
    • Meet Our Team
    • Meet Our Trustees
    • News
    • Blog
    • Media
      • Videos
      • Podcasts
    • Statement on Trans Rights
    • Monty’s Thoughts
    • Jobs
    • Accessibility Statement
    • Testimonials
    • Funders & Supporters
    • Awards
    • Timeline
    • Safer Spaces Policy
    • Covid-19 Safety Regulations
    • Privacy & Data Policy
Menu
  • WE’RE 50!
    • 50 years of LGBTQ+ support
    • 50 LGBTQ+ Londoners
      • Dugan Cummings
      • Laura Willoughby MBE
      • Meg-John Barker
      • Dan Vo
      • Matthew Hodson
      • Kate Martin
      • Richard Desmond
      • Revd Jide Macaulay
      • Jane Chance Czyzselska
      • Lord Michael Cashman CBE
      • Michelle Ross
      • Professor Kevin Fenton
      • Aisha Mirza
      • Angela Gibson
      • Lisa Power
      • DJ Ritu
      • Mzz Kimberley
      • Marc Thompson
      • Aloysius Ssali
      • Rita Mcloughlin
      • Michael Blyth
      • Carla Ecola
      • John Yates-Harold
      • Mark Healey
      • Laks Mann
      • Daniele Lul
      • Julie Walkling
      • Toni Hogg
      • Bob Green OBE
      • Faizan
      • Matt Mahmood-Ogston
      • Steven Malies
      • Chloe Davies
      • Ian Green
    • 50th Birthday Events
      • Queers without Beers celebrates 50 years of London Friend
      • Meet The Community: London Friend
    • Submit Your Story
  • DONATIONS
    • Donate Now
    • Fundraising
    • Facebook
  • PROFESSIONALS
    • Training
      • Improving LGBT Competence
      • Developing Trans Competence
      • Working with Chemsex
      • Developing an LGBT Support Strategy
      • Healthy LGBT Lives
      • Our Trainers
    • Healthcare Professionals
    • Partnerships
    • LGBT Resources
  • ABOUT
    • Meet Our Team
    • Meet Our Trustees
    • News
    • Blog
    • Media
      • Videos
      • Podcasts
    • Statement on Trans Rights
    • Monty’s Thoughts
    • Jobs
    • Accessibility Statement
    • Testimonials
    • Funders & Supporters
    • Awards
    • Timeline
    • Safer Spaces Policy
    • Covid-19 Safety Regulations
    • Privacy & Data Policy
Menu
  • SUPPORT
    • Online Support
      • Wellbeing Support
    • Counselling
      • Domestic Abuse Counselling
    • Antidote: Drugs & Alcohol Support
      • Antidote Home Care
      • Antidote Drop Ins
      • The Antidote Social
      • 1-1 Keyworking
      • Real Chemistry
      • Axis – Satellite Clinic
      • Chemcheck
      • Friends & Family Chemsex
      • Drugs
        • Alcohol
        • Crystal Meth
        • G (GHB/GBL)
        • Steroids
        • Mephedrone
        • Cannabis
        • Cocaine
        • Ketamine
        • Other Drugs
        • Safer Injecting Practices
    • Social Support Groups
      • London Friend Groups
      • External Groups
      • Calendar
    • Sexual Health
      • SASH
      • Rise
      • Code
      • Axis
      • CliniQ
      • Self Help
    • Refugees & Asylum Seekers
    • Helplines
  • INFO & ADVICE
    • Mental Health
    • Coming Out
    • Hate Crime Support
    • Chemsex
      • Chemsex and the Coronavirus
      • What is Chemsex
      • Chemsex Support
      • Before and During Chemsex Sessions
      • Chemsex and Mental Health
      • Chemsex and Consent
      • Chemsex and Sexual Health
    • Drugs
      • Alcohol
      • Crystal Meth
      • G (GHB/GBL)
      • Steroids
      • Mephedrone
      • Cannabis
      • Cocaine
      • Ketamine
      • Other Drugs
      • Safer Injecting Practices
    • Apps & Safety
    • For Women
    • Friends & Family General
    • Friends & Family Chemsex
    • LGBTQ+ Resources London
  • VOLUNTEERING
    • Volunteer
    • Volunteer Counsellor
    • Trustee
  • WE’RE 50!
    • 50 years of LGBTQ+ support
    • 50 LGBTQ+ Londoners
      • Dugan Cummings
      • Laura Willoughby MBE
      • Meg-John Barker
      • Dan Vo
      • Matthew Hodson
      • Kate Martin
      • Richard Desmond
      • Revd Jide Macaulay
      • Jane Chance Czyzselska
      • Lord Michael Cashman CBE
      • Michelle Ross
      • Professor Kevin Fenton
      • Aisha Mirza
      • Angela Gibson
      • Lisa Power
      • DJ Ritu
      • Mzz Kimberley
      • Marc Thompson
      • Aloysius Ssali
      • Rita Mcloughlin
      • Michael Blyth
      • Carla Ecola
      • John Yates-Harold
      • Mark Healey
      • Laks Mann
      • Daniele Lul
      • Julie Walkling
      • Toni Hogg
      • Bob Green OBE
      • Faizan
      • Matt Mahmood-Ogston
      • Steven Malies
      • Chloe Davies
      • Ian Green
    • 50th Birthday Events
      • Queers without Beers celebrates 50 years of London Friend
      • Meet The Community: London Friend
    • Submit Your Story
  • DONATIONS
    • Donate Now
    • Fundraising
    • Facebook
  • PROFESSIONALS
    • Training
      • Improving LGBT Competence
      • Developing Trans Competence
      • Working with Chemsex
      • Developing an LGBT Support Strategy
      • Healthy LGBT Lives
      • Our Trainers
    • Healthcare Professionals
    • Partnerships
    • LGBT Resources
  • ABOUT
    • Meet Our Team
    • Meet Our Trustees
    • News
    • Blog
    • Media
      • Videos
      • Podcasts
    • Statement on Trans Rights
    • Monty’s Thoughts
    • Jobs
    • Accessibility Statement
    • Testimonials
    • Funders & Supporters
    • Awards
    • Timeline
    • Safer Spaces Policy
    • Covid-19 Safety Regulations
    • Privacy & Data Policy
CONTACT

Coming Out Blog by Dugan, Member of London Friend

Dugan Cummings, Member of London Friend since 1980

What was your experience of coming out as an LGBT+? 

I was 20 and living in Rhodesia, Darkest Africa.  Gayness didn’t exist there officially.  It took me a couple of years to come out to all my friends, and even longer to my parents.  The friends were very supportive but I had to battle with my parents before they understood and accepted me.  And then they did wholeheartedly.  Colleagues at work in UK (Civil Service) were wholly supportive.

What was the definitive moment in making this decision?

No specific moment.  Awareness of who I am.

 

What questions do people need to consider before coming out?

Possible reactions of parents, friends, colleagues

What are your favourite books/art/films about coming out? 

Song of the Loon, A Dutiful Boy

My Beautiful Launderette, Latter Days, Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, Maurice

Based on your individual experience what advice would you give to someone wanting to come out?

Ideally, coming out should be self-revelation, joyously shared by your friends and family.  But society being what it is, it might be preferable to wait until you can combine this with some other good news – e.g. getting a flat together, celebrating a special event, going on a special holiday together – the point being to keep everything POSITIVE.

LONDON FRIEND MAIN OFFICE

86 Caledonian Road
London N19DN

020 7833 1674
office@londonfriend.org.uk

SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS

Charity number: 299307 - Company limited by guarantee (No. 1345530) - © All rights reserved - London Friend - 2023