Community & Belonging
Part of our Real Chemistry series – connection, wellbeing and chemsex recovery.
This page introduces information about community & belonging, and an important part of moving away from chemsex and the harms and issues that arose for you, may be to find a place in the world for yourself which is chem free. After you have read through the information there are some exercises for you to work through, to support you in having clarity over the impact of chem use, and chemsex for you personally. You may find it helpful to have a notebook to use as you work through the exercises, or you could use the function on a phone or tablet.
Early Community & Belonging
It’s probably fair to say that our early experiences of community would have come from our families or other caregivers, and this would have led to feelings of belonging to a group (or groups) which we could identify with, and which would have provided a sense of safety and connection.
Some themes and questions to reflect on are:
What were your experiences of community & belonging growing up? What were the positives for you to belong to these communities, and what were the negatives?
What has been the impact of the difference you hold in terms of your sexual identity on your sense of belonging to these early communities? Do you still belong to these early communities, or did you have to leave them behind to live an authentic life?
The Impact of being Gay/Bi/MSM on Community & Belonging
For some of you, you may still have these early connections to communities as part of your lives, but have also reached out to find a community that mirrors the difference that you hold. For others, you may have experienced judgement and rejection based on your difference, and have been left with no other choice but to find a place where you belong, with others who you identify with.
Some themes and questions to reflect on are:
What have been your experiences of the LGBT+ scene or community? Have you found a ‘good enough’ group of friends, or general social group that supports you in feeling safe and connected? If so, then what are the positives of this on your wellbeing and mental health? If not then what is the experience of this on your wellbeing and mental health?
Chemsex & Belonging
Generally chemsex can be thought of as providing a place for some individuals to experience a sense of community, belonging, and connection. However to ‘belong’ to a group can sometimes mean following group norms and rules that may be contrary to your morals and values.
Take some time to think and reflect on what was required of you to ‘belong’ to a chemsex experience or group experience. What was the negative impact of this on you, and the other people involved? What additional support may you need to process some of these experiences?
Moving Forward...
...it might be important for you to ‘belong’ to a healthy community or group whereby you are able to be who you are without any negative consequences, and where the other members of that community will have your best interests at heart which may benefit your sense of self, wellbeing, and mental health. London Friend has a number of groups that may be of interest to you and further information regarding these groups can be found here.
Exercises
What community groups, social groups or activity groups interest you?
What might be the positive benefits of taking steps to engage with these groups?
How might these groups benefit your general wellbeing and mental health?
What might be stopping you from taking these steps?
What might be the positives in taking these steps and trying the groups you have chosen?
What additional support might you require to either find or make contact with the groups you have decided on?
