{"id":2419,"date":"2013-02-04T17:39:18","date_gmt":"2013-02-04T16:39:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/?page_id=2419"},"modified":"2013-02-04T17:53:46","modified_gmt":"2013-02-04T16:53:46","slug":"equal-marriage-bingo","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/montys-thoughts\/equal-marriage-bingo\/","title":{"rendered":"Equal Marriage Bingo"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Monty's thoughts<\/span><\/h1>\n

The blog of Monty Moncrieff
\nLondon Friend Chief Executive<\/span><\/h2>\n

Back to 'Monty's thoughts'<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

4th February 2013: Equal Marriage Bingo! <\/span><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roll up ladies and gentleman, it\u2019s eyes down for a full House (of Commons) as we play Equal Marriage Bingo!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The rules are simple \u2013 you just listen to the debate as Parliament gets its first vote on the issues on Tuesday 5th<\/sup> February, and you cross off on your bingo card every clich\u00e9 and straw man argument raised in opposition of equality. What could be any simpler? \u201cIt will open the door to marriages of three or more people\u201d Tick! \u201cWhat next? Marry our pets?\u201d Tick! \u201cIt will destroy the moral fabric of society\u201d Bingo! (Although some wag quipped on Twitter this weekend that gay men would never do anything to destroy a good piece of fabric\u2026)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m not going to make it easy for you though. Some retorts have become so widespread that you\u2019ll need to notch them up a few times before you fill your card. So that\u2019s at least three marry your brother\/sister\/aunt\/uncle comments we need before you can win, I\u2019m afraid.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Expect a few hypocritical references to the moral codes laid down by the Bible. I imagine Leviticus will be a quick gain. You can claim a bonus if the person quoting it has never had a prawn sandwich or let their hair become unkempt (that would rule Boris out then). I don\u2019t wish to sound glib, and I can understand the potential ethical quandary if you really believe your faith opposes homosexuality and requires you to shun LGB people, but this hasn\u2019t seemed to be a problem for religions like the Quakers or the Reform Jews, or even many ordinary members of the main faiths.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of course to win the star prize you need to have been able to cross off trans people from your bingo card. It\u2019s a special instant win if they\u2019re even mentioned in the debate. If that mention is factually correct then it\u2019s ding-ding-ding jackpot, baby!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m being flippant, of course, and I\u2019m mindful of the fact that I\u2019m emotionally robust enough to do so. I haven\u2019t always been so confident in my identity and I\u2019m acutely aware that many of the thousands of LGB & T people London Friend supports every year still experience difficulties reconciling their feelings about their sexual orientation or gender identity. It chills me to hear some of the comments used in the debate, dismissing the significance of our relationships and wilfully seeking to treat LGB & T people less favourably.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The belittling of same-sex relationships\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s all over the place as we turn in the news or pick up the papers, the latest headline as person after person speaks out against equal marriage. Except of course it\u2019s being wrongly touted everywhere as \u201cgay marriage\u201d, a description that only serves to set it apart instead of equal to simply \u201cmarriage\u201d (and let\u2019s just not push our luck by trying to have any bisexual recognition in there, it will only blow people\u2019s minds). Day after day we have the message that this Holy Grail of relationships, this sacred building block of society, this treasured and special institution just ought never to be ours. Is it any wonder that sometimes the dismissing of our relationships for spurious reasons gets a bit too much to bear?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Time and again our service users talk to us about their struggles to feel more comfortable in their identities as LGB or T people. We hear of people becoming distanced from their families, being ostracised at work (or feeling they can\u2019t be open at all), feeling unable to negotiate their relationships and sadly finding they\u2019re gradually drinking more, or overdoing it on the party scene as a means of some temporary escape. I see a parallel between this poor self-esteem and the arguments being put in the equal marriage debate. I find it saddening that in a tolerant society public servants are permitted to belittle us with such contempt in our parliament and in public discourse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thankfully it seems we will win the fight for our same-sex relationships to be viewed equally. I hope too that a genuine remedy will be found for those trans people in civil partnerships needing to change their relationship status to gain legal gender recognition, and to recompense those who previously divorced to do so. There are some ugly words still to hear, but here\u2019s hoping the outcome can be a step towards ensuring the emotional well-being of future generations of LGB & T people need not be sullied by the same slurs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And don't forget there's still time to tell your MP <\/a>what you think about equal marriage!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Monty<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You can support London Friend\u2019s work promoting the health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people by becoming a regular donor <\/a>or by volunteering <\/a>with us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Monty’s thoughts The blog of Monty Moncrieff London Friend Chief Executive Back to ‘Monty’s thoughts’     4th February 2013: Equal Marriage Bingo!   Roll up ladies and gentleman, it\u2019s eyes down for a full House (of Commons) as we … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"parent":1994,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2419","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2419"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2419"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2419\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2421,"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2419\/revisions\/2421"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1994"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/londonfriend.org.uk\/2012\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}